Miss You Grant

I never really had the time to blog about this, and now I made time to blog about this.

I just had to blog about this.

Many of my friends, colleagues and I just lost a friend.

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I miss Grant.

He was a really great goofy, happy-go-lucky friend. He was a futsal buddy, a theatre buddy and a i-have-nothing-to-do-right-now-so-let's-hang-out buddy. He listened to me when there was something bugging me. He allowed me to punch him if I felt bad. He always had this distinct laugh that said "Grant is here" a mile away. He annoyed me sometimes too, but that is a miss-able trait.

There are too many things to list~

All I can say is that he was a friend I would bring with me for the rest of my life.

August 22, 2011
He died due to cardiac-arrest.
He was battling Hodgkin's lymphoma.
He was 21.

I stared at my laptop screen for a minute...then 5 minutes...then 10...

It was a joke~ it just had to be.

"It's true, it happened this morning. How are you? "
A friend asked me over the phone.

"Shock. Just yeah, I'll be fine. Not right now though~ "
I said.
"He told me we'd have lunch together~"
I mumbled to myself.

Heartbroken.
No... Not just that...reality was in some kind of glitch. It's was too surreal...too difficult to believe.

And to think it was just his birthday a month prior.

Yes, tears were a given.
I was concerned about everyone else and how they were coping that I couldn't cope myself.

Too many things were happening at the same time...just too many thoughts happening at the same time.

I was hoping I'd see him on my birthday~ he managed to surprise me last year. It made me and so many other people happy to see him up and about...

He surprised me this year too.

He taught me a lot of things that I'll forever remember.
He gave me many memories to memorable to forget.
I don't know who I'd be if I didn't become friends with him

I'm glad I did.

Love you Grant.
Everyone does.

Braces...your days are numbered

When people go through those awkward teenage years...some, like me, go through the braces stage.

As if the hormones, pimples, and all that weren't enough there had to be braces.

Thing is I went through it twice.

1st time - my teeth weren't so great
2nd time - my wisdom tooth pushed ONE tooth! ( So i had to get them again)

And finally they are getting off next week!

Yey!

Support Japan~

This is a very late post~

SUPPORT JAPAN~

I was with my friends watching a movie when we heard news about the massive earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan.

I was worried for friends who were in Japan at that devastating time. Thankfully they are alright~

I pray for the victims of the natural disaster and hope they will remain strong.

I'm in a limbo

Been in a limbo for a bit~

I haven't uploaded in a while...wow.

Half of 2011 has been spent, I think there were a lot of realizations and a lot of events that had occured.

I really hope that there are more new adventures waiting.

Reflect~ you'll learn something new about yourself.

Take Care~

Calling all Pluto in Scorpios! :)

I'm a Pluto in Scorpio and an interesting thing is, most of my friends are like me; an even more interesting thing is that my generation has a personality.

I cam across this when I found out I was a Pluto in Scorpio and I decided to research more on it and I came upon this interesting article that explains it.

READ IT :)

Pluto in Scorpio Generation

by Philip Brown

The Pluto in Scorpio generation, born approximately 1984-1996, is developing its own generational personality. It is a generation whose older members—teenagers and twenty-somethings—are the subjects of much stereotyping: “They’re so profane—every other word has just four letters…and what’s up with all the black clothing…the ‘hoodies’…the dark sunglasses…the car window tinting…the scowling countenances?”

Today’s Pluto in Scorpio generation can be quite off-putting to many older adults. Every generation has its ways of rebelling. The challenging Pluto in Scorpio square to Pluto in Leo (those who were born approximately 1939-1958) means that Baby Boomers—a huge swath of the population—find this generation especially troublesome and difficult.

Raised on R-rated movie dialogue and rap lyrics, the Pluto in Scorpio generation sometimes come across as excessively profane. Most have been exposed their whole lives to a media culture which promotes sex, violence, and celebrity. They are helping to re-invigorate poker gambling and other addictive pursuits. Of course, this is not the whole story. This generation also has--among many other positive qualities--an intense and selfless need to share, perhaps related to Scorpio’s association with the 8^th house of shared resources.

The Pluto in Scorpio generation is hooked into the 8^th house (a Scorpio house) ideal of shared resources, just as the Pluto in Leo generation embodies the positive 5^th house ideals of individuality and creativity. The resources the Pluto in Scorpio generation are beginning to share are their own self-created networks, often connected through digital technology.

Digital networks and online groups like Facebook are a Uranus-Neptune trend. Their use by the Pluto in Scorpio generation aligns with that generation’s emphasis on shared resources. The digital world allows for a shared information resource, in the form of e-pinions, e-mails, text messaging, instant messaging, etc. Today, new music bands and trends are launched via these Pluto in Scorpio digital networks.

A recent New York Times article probes this part of the Pluto in Scorpio generation, whom the reporter refers to as the millennials (a term coined by Neil Strauss and William Howe in their 2000 book, Millennials Rising). In the article, one high-tech company executive stated, "With the technology, the Internet - in terms of being able to facilitate the social networking, which is a big part of this younger group - there's just so much ability to quickly transfer information." A problem with the almost obsessive need to share via instant messaging, text messaging, cell phones, and blogs is that personal identity can become lost. As one young person commented in the article, “It's like, if you don't check your e-mail and you turn off your phone, it's almost like you don't exist." If you go to a movie at the local multiplex, note the number of teenagers engaged in silent text messaging on their cell phones during the movie. The subject of the text messaging is often the movie they are watching— how it’s going, how they like it, etc. Although many adults may find this activity to be a public annoyance, Pluto in Scorpio kids are always connected, always sharing.

Projecting ahead, one can envision other shared resources which may figure prominently as the Pluto in Scorpio generation gets older and assumes positions of leadership: economic resources, ecological resources, etc. Since Pluto and Scorpio are both attuned to crises, we can expect that these shared resources will become important as the result of a future generational crisis or series of crises.

I recently read David McCullough’s new book, 1776. Although in 1776, Pluto was in the late degrees of Capricorn, some of the soldiers who fought, led, and died for both sides in the Revolutionary War had Pluto in Scorpio. In 1776, anyone between the ages of about 28 and 40 would have belonged to a Pluto in Scorpio generation. General Nathaniel Greene and Thomas Paine, both with Pluto in Scorpio, feature heroically in McCullough’s book. The third U.S. President and primary author of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, was also a member of the Pluto in Scorpio generation.

We’ve come almost full circle now and the oldest of today’s Pluto in Scorpio generation, those born starting in November, 1983, are 27 years old. Some are old enough to be in Iraq or Afghanistan.

They bear more than a passing resemblance to the scruffy and ragtag 1776 militia that was chased out of Boston and New York by the British—a militia which eventually coalesced into the smart, tough, and incredibly resourceful army that went on to defeat the British and win American independence. Of course, the British also had their good Pluto in Scorpio soldiers. One difference? A tall, regal Pluto in Libra, Sun in Pisces commander named George Washington whose greatest teacher was, according to McCullough, not military history but rather his own experience.

There is a connection

So people and their connections~ No, I'm not talking about connections as in family connections~ its more of the connection between two people.

I recall watching discovery channel and there was a study that it takes approximately 3 seconds to determine whether you will get along with a person...at least that is what i remember explicity.

Do you know the feeling when you see someone you know that there is an instant connection?

It's a mystery as to why but people just do get along with each other , even though it is within minutes of meeting. It could be that the person is naturally outgoing and friendly.

Another instance~ you and a person are at the same wavelength and you both don't say a single thing to each other , BUT you still get each other. Meaningful silence...hmmm.

I think it's so interesting because of so many people living on this earth, I wonder how many I could connect with. Makes you think.

Got a connection with anyone? :)

I know what freedom is like

It has definitely been a while since the last time that i had written in my blog, but I've been out on the most odd soul-searching I've ever experienced.

I went abroad with my grandparents and went to visit relatives in Canada and the U.S. , but despite that I wasn't able to "fully" search and reflect. Mainly it was because I had so many things going through my head and things just kept on happening one after another. There were some things that I was able to realize, but other times I found it quite difficult to keep my mind quiet.

And yesterday, extending to the early hours of this morning, I had coffee sessions and drinking sessions with friends. It was in their company that I had realized more things that I had during my trip~ and now I really just want to go live the life I want.

I've been lost for a while, floating in the living world with my mind on a slight coma, and to feel alive again I tried doing so many things. Going back to theatre, falling in love with people, writing music and all that. I did all this in order to find myself and convince myself of who I am to be.

It may sound like babbling and random thoughts in my head, but don't people think of these things when they reach a dead end? When you are finding your calling and the reason you tick the way you do. It's like swimming in a sea of mystery because you have the direction of where to go but its totally up to you on how you plan on getting there.

Talking helps.

Talking with friends help.

a lot...

And now I know why there are so many thought bubbles in my head~ its because I think about too many things and too many people at the same time that my mind can't get on it's wheels and function~ its not a bad thing to think of so many things, but it's just difficult especially since I was lost in myself and my personal woes.

I'm headed a good direction~ the talks I had helped me and I found myself again.

I'm free.

The feeling of being free...it's like I've finally woken up and I can move foward.


Put on smiles people :)